Our Time in India: November 2012

TIME

Your greatest resource is your time. ~Brian Tracy

Time is money. ~Benjamin Franklin

Time and 'making good use of it' are often considered together in our Western culture. But, time is a whole different concept here in India.

There is a new meaning here of IST. Usually it means Indian Standard Time. But, many people here, foreigners and locals alike, say it stands for "India Stretchable Time".

In addition, I often hear the phrase "I'll be there in five-ten minutes", repeated rapidly, which usually means "I am aware that you want me there in five-ten minutes, and I am working towards getting there but I'll be there when I get there".

Waiting is an occupation in India. There are a huge number of people whose job it is to stand and wait for those who keep them waiting. Most of them are drivers, but also door openers, security guards, cooks, as well as delivery people and staff in our complex who wait (sometimes up to 15 mins) for the service elevator. (taken from "A Dead Hand", Paul Theroux).

"Taking time" is an important aspect here of many industries:

sorting recyclables by hand
weaving textiles by hand
tying knots to create beautiful rugs
hand-stringing flowers for all the garlands used in weddings, poojas, funerals

I have a lot to learn with regards to IST for special events like weddings...

We went to an Indian Hindu wedding on Sunday (Ambar's cousin's son). We were told that it would start at 6pm. This would be just one of the several aspects of the wedding of the bride and groom. Not surprisingly, we couldn't find the location of the wedding, despite having the address and despite pulling over at least 5 times to ask the whereabouts of the street (including one gentleman who was relieving himself - he turned around to help when the fellows at the corner didn't know).

We arrived at 6:30, and the bride's father greeted us and took us to a decorated, but empty of people, hall.

Groom in traditional dress (dhoti) with hat

At 7 or so, an hour after the time we were told, the groom and his family arrived - the father, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents - all except his mother. Evidently, mothers of grooms do not come for the wedding ceremony! Pictures were taken, blessings were given. Typically in Bengali weddings, the groom wears a hat to symbolize the weight and responsibilities that he takes on with marriage. (pictures below)

The Groom (on the right)

The happy couple after exchanging garlands.
That indicates they have accepted one another.

TWO hours later, at approximately 8pm, the service began in a smaller area where a pandal (temporary structure) had been erected with only about a dozen chairs around. Obviously not all of the 200 people there would be watching the ceremony! As the ceremony went on, people milled about, some stopping to watch, some leaving after having eaten dinner, many talking. I am not sure that the bride's parents watched much of it either.

We began to understand the process --- after watching the ceremony for a long time, long past us understanding what they were doing, we went off to eat dinner and then depart, goody bag in hand. I guess next time i won't push to arrive on time.

Although sometimes we feel like time is wasted here waiting for the delivery, calling for the nth time to have the gas cylinder delivered, or the chipping paint fixed, there is much to be gained in slowing our the pace of time. From Mother Teresa:

“In the West we have a tendency to be profit-oriented, where everything is measured according to the results and we get caught up in being more and more active to generate results. In the East -- especially in India -- I find that people are more content to just be, to just sit around under a banyan tree for half a day chatting to each other. We Westerners would probably call that wasting time. But there is value to it. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of results, teaches us about love. The success of love is in the loving -- it is not in the result of loving. ”  ― Mother Teresa, A Simple Path: Mother Teresa

All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that. ~Baltasar Gracian

Happy Thanksgiving to all! (Enjoy your relatively inexpensive turkey - a raw roaster turkey here is being sold for $22/lb! And this, for just a regular Butterball.)

There is no better way - in my eyes - to get to know a place than to take a long walk around. So, I have been riding in with Ambar to work, then walking home (about a 6-7 km walk). Half of my walk is along the seaside on Marine Drive where there are many apartment buildings constructed in the Art Deco style. Evidently, Mumbai is second only to Miami, Florida in Art Deco architecture. Or, so i have heard.

At 8 am, Marine Drive is fairly quiet because the cars and their honking horns are not in full force yet. However, it is well-populated with walkers, runners, many meditators (or ones who meditate), romantic young couples, stray dogs as well as some families that have slept on the walkway, or down on the beach. It's a nice, easy walk because the sidewalks are wide and the pavers are all flat. But, the real interest, to me, comes when I finish that portion, and walk along the inner roads, passing the shops, the many small shrines set up along the path, the cows eating the grass throw down for them, the people cleaning the sidewalks, various bicyclists loading up their wares to transport around town, the school children in their different uniforms. So much to see and experience that it is hard to capture with words.

Here are some of the sights along my way home.